


Moment in Time

by triste



Category: No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-06
Updated: 2011-08-06
Packaged: 2017-10-22 07:36:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/235686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things just aren't meant to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moment in Time

Title: Moment in Time  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: No. 6  
Pairing: Nezumi/Shion  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: AU  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

The rejection hurts. Safu can’t pretend that it doesn’t. She can’t hide the fact that she’s upset. She can’t help asking why. And then, when she discovers why she’s been turned down in the first place, she can’t bring herself to accept it.

“I’m sorry,” Shion says sadly. “I really am.”

There’s no reason for him to apologise. It’s not even his fault. He shouldn’t look so guilty when he’s done nothing to deserve it.

“Well.” Safu hates herself for how weak she sounds (the situation, when she tries to be positive about it, could be worse because, hey, she’s not crying). “At least now you know.”

It’s taken all of her courage to confess, but she’s left it too late. She’s already been beaten.

The childish part of her wants to stamp her foot and scream _it’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair_ because, even though she’s a genius, she’s also a human being with faults and failings and weaknesses. It would be impossible not to feel jealous and resentful. She’s known Shion since they were tiny, after all. She’s had her eye on him longer than anyone else. Her claim is more legitimate.

She tries to be reasonable. She tries to understand. It’s just so very, very difficult.

“I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you this,” she continues, once she’s calmed down enough to speak normally again, without her voice betraying her emotions (stay calm, stay collected, present the evidence in an orderly and logical fashion), “but such a pairing would be completely unproductive. You can’t marry. You won’t be able to have children.”

Shion nods, his whole demeanour one of calmness and patience. “I know,” he says.

“Don’t you think it’s a waste?” Safu presses. “You’re kind and caring, not to mention great with kids. You possess all the qualities required in order to be an excellent parents.”

“Maybe I do,” Shion agrees. “And maybe I don’t. I guess that means some things simply aren’t meant to be.”

It’s not so simple. And Safu isn’t prepared to give up yet.

“Are you sure it isn’t just a phase? Same-sex crushes aren’t exactly unheard of. Is there any chance you could be confusing love with mere admiration? Even if you think it’s genuine, there’s no guarantee any relationship will last.”

“That’s true.” Shion doesn’t look away. He keeps his gaze fixed on Safu’s. He’s maintaining eye contact to let her know that he’s taking their conversation seriously. He’s not humouring or belittling her. He’s telling her the truth. “I can’t deny it. Nobody can see into the future. It’s possible that one day we’ll fall out as love as easily as we fell into it. There’s no way to predict what might happen.”

He’s right. Couples break up all the time. The cause could be anything from infidelity to incompatibility, or even death. Even so, it’s not what Safu wants to hear. She needs confirmation that this isn’t just a one-off fling.

“But you must have some confidence,” she insists. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be explaining yourself to me right now.”

Shion falls silent. Instead of pushing for answers, Safu gives him time to formulate a response. Whatever he wants to say, it’s obviously going to be something of significance.

“Out of all the people in my life, I consider Nezumi to be the most important,” he states. “Nothing scares me more than the thought of losing him.” He’s so earnest and sincere that it makes Safu start to feel ashamed for having doubts. “I respect him. I trust him. I’m drawn to him.”

“And? Is it reciprocated?”

“He pledged himself to me.” Shion smiles. “I have no proof, of course. There’s no ring or certificate, only his word. But that’s all I need.”

He really means it.

Safu wonders how on earth she’s never noticed before. When she thinks back, it’s probably because she didn’t want to acknowledge it. It’s harder than ever to stay strong when all she can think is _why him and not me?_

“Oh,” she says weakly. “That’s good.” _No, it’s not._ “You have your reasons. I just–” _wish you'd feel the same way about me as I feel about you_ “– want what’s best for you. I want–” _to pretend everything I’ve heard isn’t true_ “–you to be happy.”

“It’s okay,” Shion says softly. “You don’t have to lie.” And then he breaks Safu’s heart a little more when he embraces her. It’s not the way a lover would, but as a friend. In retrospect, it’s all he’s ever seen her as. “Thank you for always being by my side. I’m sorry for hurting you like this.”

Safu can’t hold back anymore. Now that they’ve started, the tears just won’t stop flowing. It’s not supposed to be this way. She should be dignified and gracious, not sobbing her heart out into his shoulder, but she lets him hold her until she’s able to stand on her own again.

~~

A week passes by before Safu can bring herself to face him. When she goes to visit his mother’s bakery, it’s with the intention of apologising for causing such a scene. Karan is busy closing up shop when she walks through the door, but her face brightens with a smile that’s as warm as Shion’s. They chat for a few moments before Safu heads outside to the terrace. Shion is there, as Karan said he would be, but he’s not alone. Nezumi is with him, and they’re – Safu can’t believe it – dancing together.

“One, two, three, one, two, three.” Nezumi’s voice keeps the beat while Shion attempts to follow his lead. “Stop dragging your feet. Straighten up. Raise your chin. That’s it.”

Shion’s movements are awkward where Nezumi’s are graceful, but then something magical happens. Nezumi stops counting. It’s because Shion has caught onto his rhythm at last.

She’s never seen him like this before. He looks entranced, like he’s under some sort of spell, and Nezumi is the one who’s cast it. He’s the only person who’s capable of getting Shion to make such expressions. And, judging by the way he’s staring down at Shion, it works both ways. The Nezumi she knows isn’t meant to be so gentle and tender, but this, Safu supposes, is the side of him that’s reserved solely for Shion.

That’s when she realises. It’s not just a dance. It’s a ritual. They’re reaffirming the bond between them.

And she’s intruding on it.

She hasn’t called out to them. They don’t even know she’s there. She’s not that well hidden. Either one of them could spot her easily if they wanted to, but they don’t. They only have eyes for each other. It’s like their whole world has narrowed down to just the two of them, like nobody else exists.

It isn’t the first time Safu has walked in on people being intimate in public places, but this one feels different for some reason. It’s not the same as accidentally witnessing Ann and Roy exchange kisses when they think no one else is watching. It’s much more intimate, almost painfully so.

Safu shouldn’t be here. She doesn’t belong.

And that’s what relationships are about in the end, the exclusion of all other potential partners.

~~

She invites Nezumi out three days later to her favourite café. It’s the first time they’ve ever been alone together. The only thing they have in common is their feelings for Shion.

Safu arrives first. It’s not much longer before Nezumi joins her.

They sit opposite one another in the booth. Safu orders coffee, Nezumi orders tea. He seems cautious, if a little curious, but remains open to whatever it is she has to say. He keeps his guard up, however, as he always does around everyone who isn’t Shion, leaving his tea untouched when the waitress returns with their drinks.

“The thing about Shion,” Safu begins, “is that he’s naïve. He’s clueless. He may be an airhead, but he’s a well-meaning one. He’s too kind for his own good. There are plenty of people out there who would take advantage of that. To be honest, I used to think you were one of them. I didn’t trust you in the beginning.”

Nezumi raises an eyebrow. “What made you change your mind?” There’s no hostility behind the question. He’s being receptive. He genuinely wants to hear her opinion.

“For starters, Shion speaks very highly of you. His judgement might not always be the best, but he refuses to hear a bad word against you. He’d defend you even at the risk of his own honour.”

Nezumi isn’t exactly sociable. There are times when Safu is convinced he goes out of his way in order to piss people off. He can be abrasive and downright arrogant, but Shion still sees something in him that no one else does, something different, something special.

“Like you said,” Nezumi replies, his expression carefully bland (so unlike Shion, who freely shows his emotions), “he’s an airhead. But,” he continues before Safu can get angry on behalf of the subject of their conversation, “he’s loyal. When he devotes himself to someone, he does it with all his heart.”

“And you’re the one he chose over everybody else.” There’s no need for Safu to add ‘myself included.’ It’s already obvious. “Shion is a very precious person to me. He always has been. And he always will be. That’s why, if you do anything to hurt or betray him, I’ll never forgive you.”

“Don’t worry. It won’t happen.”

He seems sure of himself. It’s not just because he’s being his usual cocky self. He honestly believes in what he’s saying.

It makes Safu breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay. You pass. I’m glad.”

And then she smiles. The tension melts right out of her. Even Nezumi relaxes somewhat. He doesn’t smile back, but he isn’t sitting quite so straight anymore. He takes a sip of his tea at long last before doing something completely unexpected.

He actually apologises.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and Safu gets the strangest sensation of déjà vu. “I knew you were in love with Shion, but I still took him away. Maybe you’ve come to terms with it now, but there must have been a time when you hated me because of it.”

“Yeah,” says Safu. “I did. How horrible of me.” She’s enough of an adult to understand that it’s a natural response. She’s enough of an adult to not be selfish. “But it’s not like that anymore. It can’t be helped. I didn’t stand a chance. There’s no way I could win against you.”

It still stings. She’s always been competitive. Admitting defeat doesn't come easily. What she can do, however, is be mature, which is why she reaches out across the table.

“I’m not asking to be best friends forever. For Shion’s sake, let’s try to get along.”

They shake hands. Safu’s grip is firm and self-assured. Nezumi pays her the same respect she’s showing him.

Maybe one day they’ll be able to talk normally. There might even come a time when they can talk about things other than Shion. Safu has given Nezumi her blessing. At this moment in time, it’s more than enough.

 

End.


End file.
